goodbye me (with auDio)
who knows.....
My writing is often not exciting
inciting a riot inside me, inviting…
…igniting while reciting what I’m lighting
whether mighty, weak or dividing
both sides of my mind are colliding
never biting styles, riding what I’m fighting
doubt in my own uniting, I tried politely
now I’m no longer confiding I am uprising
comprising all my words as I am upsizing
myself as I am sizing me up and realizing
I was always the one devising what is rising
dying to my own insanity in my own revising
say goodbye, seek and find me
because you think I do this blindly
my eyes be wide open in what I’m despising
so I’m surmising and arriving
at destinations with no hesitation, not just surviving
say goodbye, seek and find me
because what I do here I do it lively
and no other mind is ever diving
into the depths which I am hiding
hurt and pain that linger inside me
are my own and now I’m driving
myself down roads, you’ll never find me
say goodbye, wave, and sign these
dotted lines that weigh and drive me
deeper and deeper as I am grinding
my gears to make shift, goodbye me.
d.
…
Photo: Image Stock
The rhythm of this piece pulled me in immediately, but the line “I was always the one devising what is rising” lingered the longest. It feels like the moment the struggle stops being something happening to you and becomes something you're finally willing to face. Saying goodbye there doesn't feel like an ending—it feels like the beginning of meeting yourself honestly.
He said goodbye
to the version of himself
that apologized
for taking up space.
That is not a loss.
That is the whole point.
— AËLA